Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Seriously? Shrek? And Gummyi Candy?

The humorless, homophobic miscreants of the Christian Right are at it again. First, it was the silly Teletubbies, then Spongebob, then Buster -- now, they've found more homosexuals in cartoon land. Well, not homosexuals -- just cross-dressers and transsexuals. In Shrek 2. Oh, the humanity! What will the poor children think?

The Traditional Values Coalition has issued a "special report" on their website, "A Gender Identity Disorder Goes Mainstream," that exposes the vast conspiracy "of the homosexual and transgender movements to normalize so-called sex-change operations and to deconstruct the reality of male and female in our culture." The conspiracy consists of a lesson plan posted on the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) website to teach elementary school children tolerance toward cross-dressers (they make no mention of any school district actually using the lesson plan), the International Olympic Committee's decision to allow transgendered athletes to compete in future games, and a transgendered couple who attempted to get married in Kansas. Oh, and Shrek 2:

"which...featured a male-to-female transgendered bartender whose voice is that of talk show host Larry King. The bartender had a 5 o'clock shadow but was clearly shown to be a woman wearing a dress. In addition, "Shrek 2" revealed that Pinocchio is actually a secret cross-dresser who wears women's underwear. At the end of the movie during a dance sequence, the transgendered bartender jumps on Prince Charming and both tumble to the ground.
"In addition, Prince Charming is voiced by openly homosexual actor Rupert Everett. Prince Charming is shown to be effeminate in the film."

The TVC report explains why this is such a problem:

"These are deeply troubled individuals who need professional help, not societal approval or affirmation."

Puh-leeze! Setting aside the TVC's blatant homophobia...it's a cartoon, an animated movie for children that happens to contain a few jokes for adults that are going to go right over the head of the average 10-year-old. Get some professional help for yourselves! Stop taking everything and yourselves so seriously!

And just to show that the right doesn't have a monopoly on humorlessness, the New Jersey SPCA is protesting gummy candy. Apparently Trolli Road Kill Gummy Candy, which features flattened animal shapes complete with tire treads, is going to turn our kids into sociopathic animal abusers. The NJSPCA is planning petitions, boycotts, and letter-writing campaigns to get the gummys removed from the shelf. "It sends the wrong message to children, that it's OK to harm animals. And that's the wrong message, especially from a so-called wholesome corporation like Kraft," said society spokesman Matthew Stanton.
If you can't find more serious corporate misconduct than this, you need to turn in your left-wing muckraking credentials. It's gummy candy. It's marketed toward 8- or 10-year-olds who find fart jokes amusing. There are more serious issues around...like real animal cruelty.

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